Earlier this evening I was very depressed. I was feeling very insecure about my present life. I always experience these bouts of depression when I have time to think about what is going on in my life or what I would like to be happening in my life. I know that everyone tends to have soem insecurities, big or small, but hardly express them to others. I am one of those people. I usually just live my life day by day and wait for it to crash into me.
To be quite honest with those handful of you who might accidently run across this page, I think that I am not in a managomus relationship. Sometimes I think I am and other times I think I'm not. The sad part is not that I feel that way, but that I am not able to express my feeelings to him. I use to think that I was one of thise individuals who always needed to be in a relationship, but I am coming to the conclusion that I am not. I think that if I had something else going on in my life,not neccesarily a relationship, I could give a flying rat's ass about is there anyone special in my life. I use ot always focus my life on who is/will be a aprt of my life and everything esle followed including my education and career goals. Now that I am almost done with school, I have to become more focus. There are alot of things I plan on doing before I get married and have a family. I plan on attending grad school up North and become successful in a career that I love and comfortable with. There is so much that I want, need, and am gonna do before I start looking. Now don't get me wrong, if whom I believe to be my very own "Mr. Right" comes into my life I will make room for him in my life just not a huge chunk of it. Hopefully, he will be on the same track I am on, or has been on it and knows where I am coming from. A girl can only pray. Now I just have to get up the guts to express that to the one person I know needs to hear that. Samida